please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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