He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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