Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
