that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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