your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize