I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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