@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
