So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
