my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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