So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
