the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you never un-have a 4some
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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