It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
