He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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