Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
