Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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