forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize