I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
