Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
