I cockslap morals
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
