like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
