Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The best revenge is premature balding
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
