I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
