I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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