he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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