apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
