This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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