1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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