haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
