what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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