Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
As shirtless as possible
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
