What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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