she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
