perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
