i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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