brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?