I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.