By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dating After Heartbreak
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.