the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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