wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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