You can't special order awesome
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
