We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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