so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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