dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
