I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
