It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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