Your face is a jimmy john
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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