**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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