Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
