thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
