Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
