The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
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Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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