Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize