She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
