she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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