singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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