these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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