okay pat passed out under dana's car
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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