Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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