You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
