i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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