The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
