this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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